Four Years in Reflection...
I think back to the very beginning. The whole purpose was one more step in fulfilling the destiny God set before me. Before His will for me became so apparent both during and after YWAM, I remember earnestly asking God for a true university experience (during the time the question was between UAA and Trinity) because I wanted to experience dorm life... and though I ended up feeling frustrated by it more often than I enjoyed it, He granted my request. The fall of my first year I thought I would be in and out - only to get my degree as some sort of license to be on the field immediately after. But oh Lord... you did so much more in me... You gave me the grace to continue, to overcome the struggle, to learn from heartache and begin to understand what it means to hope. The recent years of my life have been marked by waiting, waiting in so many things. I see now, there is deep richness in waiting. A friend once told me that when you have to wait for something, it makes you appreciate it more when it emancipates itself and comes to be. I think there is truth in that. Waiting forces you to measure value and importance in a different way. The longer you wait, the more you wonder if what you wait for is worth holding out. I've learned that no matter the path, holding out for God's way, God's timing, and God's best is always worth it. All I mean to say is, Jesus, I am thankful for your work in my life, I am thankful for your sovereignty even when I haven't enjoyed or understood it.
And even when I have wanted to walk the other way...